Love

I have always been confused about love, I always wanted the fairytale and for some reason that never seemed to come true for me it always seems that I ended up hurt and everyone else around me ended up getting what I wanted. So I asked why god is it that why is it that something that I have wanted so badly I can never have and finally I feel I have just given up after this last time in November when I have gotten hurt so badly and gotten hurt so many times and I cannot seem to find the right person to just love me for me and accept me for the person who I am and love me for who I am the good and the bad and despite the fact that I am not perfect still love me that I cannot seem to find this person but, instead I find people who are bound and determined to hurt me and seemed to take pleasure in seeing me feel pain. I may have been raised differently but that is not love enjoying seeing someone hurt is not love but then again maybe this is just my lifes course that god has set for me and the reason why my goals are my goals and the reason that why my life is on the path that it is on right now, as much as I would love to have someone to spend my life with it would impact my goal of my eventually moving when Hannah turns 18 and do I really want another person impacting me doing what I want to do and impacting my life? Most likely not or otherwise I would have to discuss my plans with this person and see what and how this would impact their life and also their goals but all of this is in the near and somewhat distant future and hopefully the UK part will come true for me. I would really like the opportunity to work and live there.